However, lest you think we're making light of this important "issue", rest assured we aren't.  We think we can make some quick cash with it and that's always a good thing.  Right Al?  Therefore the GOP Restaurant is announcing its own program to combat Global Warming.....

We will make available for purchase in the GOP Restaurant Gift Shop a book of tickets as a part of our Foul Air Reduction Tariff program.  Think of it as a kind of "gas exchange".  Studies have shown that cow emmisions contribute significantly the green house gases in our atmosphere and this is something that just has to be stopped.  Human emmisions also contribute, some more than others, to this problem.   So, what we propose is a trade off between cow gas and human gas and we will accomplish this through our F.A.R.T. ticket books.  For every book of 100 tickets sold, we'll cook a cow.  Those tickets will allow the holder to emit gas, one time per ticket without feeling guilty about melting the polar ice caps.   These books make perfect gifts for special occasions although we do advise the guys not to purchase them for their sweethearts on Valentine's Day. 

The GOP Restaurant is excited about this program and we think it will make a significant difference in people's lives and the "lives of our children",  (Threw that one in for our liberal friends).  Not only will this allow people to emit gas guilt-free, but it will also insure that the GOP Restaurant has an adequate supply of Prime Rib.